K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
