She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
