My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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