i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he thought i was a dude.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
