if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
