If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
