Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
