It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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