ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
