Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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