youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
