So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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