so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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