My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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