Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
