I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
