just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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