I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
