this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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