My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
