1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
