I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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