they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
