Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize