I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize