I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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