he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
