Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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