I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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