Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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