i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
