Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
