i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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