Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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