i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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