i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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