Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think my vagina is haunted
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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