That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
