im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
