Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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