I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My vagina just clenched in fear
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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