...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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