OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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