It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I need water and some morals
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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