you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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