Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
