I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
