I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
