I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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