True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
