Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
