He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
