Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
