I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
