Buhtt sex?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
