Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
