Jerry, you need to find god
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize