She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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