Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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