If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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